Saturday, July 17, 2010

And They Knew Shame

When I looked at you, my subjective judgments wandered into places they should not go.  Shame.  I felt ashamed.  I was suddenly struck with a consciousness of both the good and the evil I could do you… .and this was not my position to occupy.  I am not authorized to go there.  Since when did I think myself so well off that I could benefit your vulnerability somehow?  O vanity!  And since when did I think myself so victimized that I could take from you what was yours?  O anxiety!  I am ashamed.  My own nakedness testifies to truth; the very truth that I see your nakedness and I am most likely thinking the very same subjective thoughts that you do when you see me…
So we cover.  And in this world, yes, we should.  There are parts and places where other minds should not wander subjectively.  There are places you and I are not authorized to go.  I am not speaking merely of physical things.  I am speaking of the many good and evil options we are now conscious of when another individual’s life stands before us in any way open and bare: intellectually, emotionally, physically… .vulnerably.  When presented with another human life, we can see them subjectively or we may see them through the eyes of God.  We make choices, nonetheless, from one of these two sources.
  Shame is the direct result of this subjective experience.  We perceive, with eyes wide open, the plethora of choices available to vulnerable flesh.  Be there any conscience within us at all, we blush.  It was never intended that you and I know the possibilities, both good and evil.  We were not meant to rule this way.  It was intended that I know and experience you only through the eyes of God.  My choices concerning your flesh would have been based on His Life-giving judgments.  
According to the Gospel, by the indwelling of His Holy Spirit, we are provided an opportunity to leave subjectiveness behind.  We may see once again through the eyes of holiness.  We may perceive humanity through His eyes.  Our judgments of the flesh are not our judgments at all.  We receive His judgments and feel no shame.  Our eyesight has become clean.  We lack the good and evil powers of subjective eyesight and experience.  We see not how we may stroke our vanities or soothe our anxieties by use of another’s vulnerability.   We trust in the eyesight and judgment of God for their sake.  All who wait for and trust in God’s judgments, as the Scriptures say, will never be put to shame.  “To you O Lord, I lift up my soul.  O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me.  Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame; they shall be ashamed who are wantonly treacherous,” Psalm 25:1-3.
O Lord God, Who sees all mankind, I will wait for Your judgments.  I will not make my own.  I submit to Your Eyes.  I trust in Your eyesight of me and of the vulnerable creatures about me.  You are right in all Your judgments in a way that I could never be.  For my own sake and for the sake of others, I lift my eyes to You, I present my whole person to You and I present their person to You.  You will see and judge us justly.  No one who trusts in Your perspective will ever experience the shame of seeing and knowing others, or being seen and known by others, through the eyes of good and evil choices.  You cover us O God!

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